I am a bad loser, I always have been and hopefully always will be. Losing hurts and there is no way around that, but for every bit that losing hurts the joy of winning makes taking that chance worth it. We will play if the reward outweighs the risk.
What has taken me years to learn and realize is that while failing and losing are similar they are still extremely different. They both effect us in many of the same ways, making us feel vulnerable and scared, keep us up at night or even make us feel ashamed of ourselves. Those emotions are really powerful to kick, especially when you are young and looking to make the most of the opportunities that you are presented with. We want to be safe, we don’t want to be judged and we definitely do not want to lose/fail at life.
But creating something is not the same as playing, and that is a hard idea to wrap our heads around sometimes. When we create something we take a risk, we are make ourselves vulnerable to how the outside world responds. But we don’t create against anything, we create against ourselves and that is what makes failing such a hard pill to swallow to someone who is working to establish their own identity. What is even more difficult about creating something is that there is no clearly defined reward and no clear winner so why take the risk in the first place?
Still when we don’t create anything and push boundaries that it when we lose. And when we can throw that fear and anxiety over failing aside than we can do remarkable things. Every time you try something new your skin gets a little thicker and your comfort zone becomes a little larger, but you have to take that chance and take it often. Because even when we fail (and we all do), we learn more about why we failed so we can dust ourselves off and try it again. We also learn more about ourselves and what makes us truly happy in those moments of vulnerability than we ever would otherwise.
I am 25 at this moment, and I wake up every day knowing that I will need risk failure and do something that makes my skin a little thicker or I will lose. I still have that anxious feeling that if I fail that my personal and professional life will come to a crashing halt but that is something I will work on, my skin is still pretty thin too.